i cant explain it.
justify it.
any of that it stuff.

im so depressed.
i know it.
im afraid my husband will leave me bc of it...
even though he says he wont.

how do people live life?
how do they get out of bed everyday and be happy?
where do they find things to live for?
motivation?
fucking where?

i shouldnt have married him
because hes so sweet and im so awful
and he didnt know what he was getting
because everything seems perfect when youre not looking for the truth.
no one so sweet and patient should have to live with someone so
snippy and moody.
it doesnt seem fair.