Do you know what it feels like to be void of hope?
Oh kayla, you're being dramatic, you have so much to be thankful for.
Thank you, I didn't know.
It's not that I am ungrateful.
I know of my many blessings. I count them by the hour, it's all I have sometimes.
I'm talking about something bigger and deeper.
Where no matter how wonderful or terrible things are, there is the ever present absence of hope...safety...security...reason...
Though I like to think I'm a logical person, I can often be quite unreasonable.
I know the feeling of losing control. It's a helpless feeling.
It's the worst feeling.
Every action after hitting that point is like watching a movie.
Someone else's words and face.

I see no end in sight. No hope in site.

Hopeless.